Easy and Difficult

Easy to get a place in someone's address book.

Difficult to get a place in someone's heart.

Easy to judge the mistakes of others

Difficult to recognize our own mistakes

Easy to talk without thinking

Difficult to refrain the tongue

Easy to hurt someone who loves us.

Difficult to heal the wound...

Easy to forgive others

Difficult to ask for forgiveness

Easy to set rules.

Difficult to follow them...

Easy to dream every night.

Difficult to fight for a dream...

Easy to show victory.

Difficult to assume defeat with dignity...

Easy to admire a full moon.

Difficult to see the other side...

Easy to stumble with a stone.

Difficult to get up...

Easy to enjoy life every day.

Difficult to give it real value...

Easy to prome something to someone.

Difficult to fulfill that prome...

Easy to say we love.

Difficult to show it every day...

Easy to criticize others.

Difficult to improve oneself...

Easy to make mtakes.

Difficult to learn from them...

Easy to weep for a lost love.

Difficult to take care of it so as not to lose it.

Easy to think about improving.

Difficult to stop thinking it and put it into action...

Easy to think bad of others

Difficult to give them the benefit of the doubt...

Easy to receive

Difficult to give

Easy to read

Difficult to follow it

Easy to keep a friendship with words

Difficult to keep it with meanings.

LOVE, LUST, AND MARRIAGE

LOVE :when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST :when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE :when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.

LOVE :when intercourse is called making love.
LUST :all other times.
MARRIAGE :what's intercourse?

LOVE :when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST :when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE :when you argue over money.

LOVE :when you share everything you own.
LUST :when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
MARRIAGE :when the bank owns everything.

LOVE :when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST :when the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE :what's a climax?

LOVE :when you phone each other just to say "G'day".
LUST :when you phone each other just to organize sex.
MARRIAGE :when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts.

LOVE :when you write poems about your partner.
LUST :when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE :when all you write is checks.

LOVE :when you show concern for your partners' feelings.
LUST :when you couldn't give a shit.
MARRIAGE :when your only concern is what's on TV.

LOVE :when your farewell is "I love you darling ..."
LUST :when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
MARRIAGE :when your farewell is silent.

LOVE :when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST :when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
MARRIAGE :when you never see each other awake.

LOVE :when your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST :when your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE :when your wallet empties every time you see them.

LOVE :when nobody else matters.
LUST :when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE :when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

LOVE :when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST :when it's just the same mushy old shit.
MARRIAGE :when you never listen to music.

LOVE :when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST :when staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE :when just getting through today is your only thought.

LOVE :when you're interested in everything your partner does.
LUST :when you're only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE :when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your golf score.

Job Apportunity

Title: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

Job Description:
Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call.Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities!Travel expenses not reimbursed.Extensive courier duties also required.

Responsibilities:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, and stuck zippers.Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next.Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap plastic toys and battery-operated devices.Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

Possibility For Advancement & Promotion:
If you are lucky, you may be promoted to the position of Grandparent. Of course, you must still retain and fulfill all the responsibilities of Parent while assuming the new title and job responsibilities of Grandparent.

Previous Experience:
None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

Wages And Compensation:
Get this! You pay them!Offering frequent raises and bonuses.A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.When you die, you give them whatever is left.The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

Benefits:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays, and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

THE FROG IN THE WOOD

A woman was out walking through a wood one day when she found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten."
The woman said, "That's okay." and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to."

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM! She's the most beautiful woman in the world. For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM! She's the richest woman in the world.

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story – Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the story for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Attention male readers: The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story – Women are really dumb when they think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show. PS. If you're a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to show that women never listen.

MATHEMATICS

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATHS
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage.